Tonk. Tonk. Tonk.

The dull, monotonous thump of a hammerhead slamming down onto a wooden board filled the air, chiming in alongside the symphony of voices that flooded in and out of the great Oak City. A simple but tedious request from the mayor required an unlucky individual to scout the perimeter of the city’s walls, observing and repairing any damaged portions with supplies provided directly from the city’s council. A thick smell of pine wafted through the air from the raw logs and surrounding forest, clashing with the aromas of freshly baked bread and other delectable luxuries from inside the settlement.

“Yo, Orry.” A squeaky but buoyant voice chirped from somewhere below the wall.

“Orry. Orrrry. Orrryyyy. Orry lick the butt-horry. Orry. Orry!”

With his back against the large, dilapidated cobblestone wall, Orion Glory sat slouched, his eyes closed as his mind drifted into the deepest sleep of his life. A strand of drool formed at the corner of his mouth, his chin plastered firmly against his chest. He would have been completely dead and gone had his partner Funkfreed, the little orange Exceed garbed in nothing but red basketball shorts and a pair of black shades, not waltzed over and kicked him sharply in his side with a fiercely clawed paw.

He jolted awake with a grunt, dragging the backside of his forearm across his face to wipe away the remnants of the dream world. “What, man? I was passed the hell out.”

The look on Funkfreed’s face was an amalgamation of disturbed, puzzled and annoyed all at the same time, twisted into one funky ass looking expression. “I saw, yo. You get too much sleep! And ya’ don’t even get anything to eat!” His little feline features changed on the dot after that particular rhyme. As quickly as Orion had fallen asleep, Funkfreed was reaching behind his pants, whipping out a small blue notepad with a pencil jammed into the spiral spine. “Awww yeah! That one is way too good to pass up! This one is going down in the Rhyme Tymes for sure!”

Orion’s face was blank, plain as the boards he was using to mend the wall’s wounds. He leaned his cranium backwards, resting it against the hard, cold barrier. A sigh overcame his chest, only exasperated by his lips rumbling together as he exhaled.

“Bbhhhhhhbbhbhbhbhb. That’s right, Funk. We were patchin’ up this wall. I’d totally forgot.”

Unfortunately, his partner was too busy rambling to himself and scribbling sweet nothings in his personal diary. Orion turned to stand, placing his back to the menacing pine-wood forest. From behind, a resounding, high-pitched voice emerged from the shadows cast by the vegetation.

“OOOOOOIIIIIII! YOU’RE DEAD! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUUUU!” This red-headed fool marched ferociously down the only dirt path leading to and from Oak Town, both of his hands twitching at his sides. Tiny yellow lightning bolts sparked around his bandaged appendages, which had matched the rest of his mostly-white colored outfit.

“Ya’ll think you can just kick me out, huh?! I was captain of the Oak City Guard for five years!! FIVE FUCKING YEARS!” The man angrily shouted.

Orion only barely gazed over from his spot near the front gate, mildly curious as to what all that noise was about. Funkfreed did the same. They stared in the maniac’s direction while taking note of the dangerously rage-fueled lightning magic now blatantly radiating from his palms.

“Man, that shouting idiot sure is annoying.”

“Uhhh! Yo, yo! Orry. I think you should go stop this guy?!”

Orion shifted a glare towards Funkfreed. “What? Why should I stop him? He ain’t my problem.”

Funkfreed jumped into the air, sprouting a pair of feathery white wings from his back with a splash of blue and green magic powder, allowing him to fly around in the air and hover, which he did.

“Orry, if this guy destroys all the hard work we’ve already done, we’ll be toast! … Son! Haha, got another one!” His whiskers wiggled joyfully, wings carrying him around in circles as he retrieved his trusty notepad.

Orion on the other hand had completely ignored his rhyme again. He simply sat there, watching as the electricity-wielding intruder stopped about twenty feet before the entrance into the city. He huffed and he puffed, only growing more furious by the second. His brows furrowed and he leaned his head forward, calling two fiery bangs forth to drape across his forehead.

The raven-haired swordsman gripped his trusty blade Raimei by the scabbard and, albeit reluctantly, made his way over towards the big bad wolf.

“Mmm’yeah, I s’pose… I really don’t wanna have to go back through and fix it all again. Oi, big boy!” Orion called just ten yards away from the man now.

He snapped his head towards Orion, a grimace plastered across his face. The magic power emanating from his body produced a threatening aura, causing the god slayer to tighten his grip on Raimei.

“Who the fuck are you?” He spat, now turning to face Orion.

Orry frowned in response, now loosening his posture. “Listen man. We can make a deal here. You leave the wall alone, I won’t fuck ya’ up. Alright?” It seemed like a simple offer on Orion’s part. The other guy didn’t seem to think so, however.

“FUCK. YOU!! VOLTAGE SHOT!!! HRAAAAAAGHHH!”

Finally releasing his pent up wrath, the lightning-wielding wizard thrust his arms forward, surging a large golden bolt of electricity across the green pasture towards Orion. A sickening crack filled the air as the energy bolt left the man’s hands, leaving behind a fuming trail of burnt grass in its wake. At first, Orion looked as if he wasn’t going to react to the spell whatsoever.

Before the lightning could strike him, Orion dropped his jaw, causing the electricity to spiral upwards in the form of an energy cone, flowing effortlessly like an ebbing river between Orion’s lips. In the blink of an eye, the spell the red-headed opponent had unleashed vanished, topped off by a burp from yours truly.

“Uh-oh, ya’ done fucked up now, yo!”

“Baaaagah~. Eugh, your lightning tastes like shit.”

The man’s jaw dropped as well, only he wasn’t consuming any lightning. He was dumbfounded at how his attack had been negated so quickly, so.. Undeniably. It was like he’d never even fired one in the first place.

“W-what..? N-no way.. No, no! You cheated! YOU CHEATED!!”

The god slayer cracked a smile, his nostrils flaring as he began to inhale. His stomach filled with a mass of black, sizzling lightning bolts that hissed and bounced, screaming to be unleashed.

“I s’pose yer right about that… I am cheating. I’m using god mode…. LIGHTNING GOD’S BELLOW.”


Orion reared his head back, chipmunk cheeks forming as his mouth now overflowed with electrical energy. He then burst forth, opening his mouth to release a massive tornado-shaped wave of black lightning energy that completely swept up the stranger’s form while also ripping up small rocks and patches of soil from the ground along its path. It was strong enough to wipe his adversary off of his feet and send him tumbling down the rolling emerald hills, paralyzed and visually burnt from the overwhelming power of the slayer’s signature spell.

Unfortunately, the wind pressure produced from the technique also had enough power to rip their poorly patched from the walls, unveiling it’s scars beneath and undoing all of their previous work.

“ORRY!! WHAT THE HELL, YO?!”

“Ah, shit…”